The Estonian Wedding

I’ve been blabbing on about this wedding for months now, because we actually still can’t believe we are A) a quarter Estonian, on my dad’s side and B) actually invited to our cousin’s wedding! (As it was initially my Grandad who was invited, and we joined in – we had met the family once, six years ago on our first visit to Tallinn so this was very exciting).

The evening started with a civil ceremony in a town hall out of the city walls, which I suppose didn’t surprise me as according to trusty wikipedia, Estonia is the second least religious country in the world…after China! After some group photos outside, we were strategically divvied up and hustled into Ford Mustangs! Rewind a sec, I hadn’t mentioned but our cousin (the groom) had told us, over supper two days earlier, that he was the President of the Mustang Club in Tallinn! Our jaws dropped, but not as much as when we found out where they were going on their honeymoon….”Actually, we are going to the UK”….. I don’t know what my face looked like at this point. WHY?? “To see Stonehenge of course!” ….NO WAY!

 

OK, so fast forward to the Mustangs again, we set off and drove around the city for an hour – beeping, revving and doing some burnouts – essentially destroying the wheels. My sister and I sat silently in our black Mustang in awe until we pulled up outside the venue.

We’d been told to expect lots of games and funny traditions at Estonian weddings so the general feeling was that a lot of organised fun was about to start, which was bound to be tricky unless you spoke Estonian, but not to worry we had a translator – or if you prefer an ‘official entertainer’ for the evening. Instead of a best man, in Estonia they hire someone who’s there to ‘run the show’ and to be the funny guy.

 

Shortly after the champagne reception and settling down at our table with some chilled vodka (to cleanse the palate – sure) and red caviar blinis, the funny guy took to the stage with his mic and kicked off the party. The first game was to assign certain roles for the evening for guests and friends of the newlyweds, roles for the evening. Various people’s names were called out – you had the toast master and other ones I can’t remember – suddenly he read out “uh Meunika?” – “Monica that’s you!!” My sister was assigned the role of ‘REPLACEMENT BRIDE’ … we didn’t know what this meant yet, she was just given a pink scarf.

 

Kibe (translation: bitter/sour) – became the one word we learnt well, everyone randomly chanting this in unison throughout dinner, the games and the dancing. “KIBE, KIBE, KIBE” … in short it means ‘kiss’ … the dragging version is that ‘the vodka has gone sour and will only be sweet and drinkable again, once the newlyweds kiss’

At about midnight, while boogying along to The Beatles (this is all the band would play) the bride was kidnapped! We’d been warned that this was one of their key wedding traditions, the friends kidnap the bride and the groom is given a set of tasks to try and get her back… he had to sing, dance, collect six bottles of vodka and a few other things. Meanwhile, the crowd starting again ‘KIBE, KIBE, KIBE’… oh god, the replacement bride was called to step in! After much umming and arring, the groom and Monica had an awkward kiss between the cheek and lips.

The video here gives a sneak peak of the wedding, funny language, general confusion and the moment when Monica was called upon as replacement bride!

Lastly, my dad enthusiastically got involved in one of the men’s games where the entertainer read out (and translated to English) objects that they’d need to race to bring to the table – the last one to bring it, would lose and be out of the game. So it would be things like a pen, phone, shoe laces, a woman etc. Anyway he won! As the winner, his prize was read out and it was that ….. to our surprise, he is officially invited to the couple’s first year wedding anniversary! So we might be back next year to gate-crash another amazing Estonian party!